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'Clock Alphabet Soup Aspects'

Hi

This is something that I call my 'Clock Alphabet Soup Aspects' technique, which is a technique I put together a few years ago in response to clients who asked for "something to help them get their mind focussed on stuff to do in between sessions".  In other words, they know there's something at the back of their mind, can't quite put the name (label) to it and so they can't get it to concretise and come to the front of their mind - so they can work on it and with it.

What you do is:

1. draw a clock face on a piece of paper;
2. place YOUR problem (or what you feel MAY BE your problem but aren't quite certain) in the centre of the clock face;
3. draw 24 'minute' hands around your clock - each of them being a different length - however each of them comes out from the centre of the clock (your problem area);
4. starting from the top of the clock face (where 12 oclock is) and working your way around the clock in the normal way, attach one alphabet letter to each 'minute finger' in order - following the normal A, B, C, D etc format until you reach X and then put XYZ on the 24th finger (which is just before 12 clock);
5. proceed to "look at the centre of the clock (YOUR problem area) and then
6. look at the appropriate letter (starting with A) and close your eyes then;
7. open them again and look at that letter now and;
8. put/write down (at the side of the letter) whatever comes into your head and;
9. move on as soon as you have put your 'situation or feeling or words or whatever' against that letter - and if you find you wait more than 10 seconds and nothing comes to mind, then repeat steps 5 - 9;
10. when you have gone through ALL the alphabet letters in this specific order (THIS is VERY important) and completed as many as you can;
11. close your eyes and using your pen/pencil/crayon simply jab/dot/mark against one of the 24 fingers (this is the soup bit) and then;
12. using that chosen 'aspect' (which  is whatever you have written down against THAT letter) you simply work on it with whatever tool or technique you want to use - EFT, TAT, BSFF, visualisation, meditation etc etc

What's happening is that you are concentrating on the problem (clock) at steps 5 & 6 with your conscious mind.  At steps 7 & 8 you're allowing your mind to do a 'free association'  connection via your subconscious mind with THAT letter (allowing your mind to concentrate specifically on that letter).  Then at step 9 you are swiftly moving on to the next letter (hence you are not allowing your mind to dwell on one letter or problem aspect too long).

And at step 11 you are dealing with the aspects of THAT problem in a non-linear, non-logical manner (because they are chosen randomly).  Which is what happens when you eat a mixed soup such as mulligatawny or mixed vegetable and meat or vegetable soup or indeed a chowder - you put your spoon in and it could come out with liquid or vegetable or meat or a mixture - and it's completely randomly chosen.

By dealing with the 'aspects' in this way you are focussing 'away from' and yet 'still on' the problem - almost like "I know the problem is there however I'm not confronting it and looking directly at it because that might be uncomfortable" scenario.

A word of advice here though:  to use this technique you do need to have plenty of time and NOT expect to deal with it as a 'one-minute wonder'!  Many of our problems have been long in the developing, and so often we need time to deal with their aspects and root them out as much as possible, for they are - and have been - a part of our lives.  So really, in my opinion, we owe these aspects (or parts) some respect when we are letting them go.  And thus, again in my opinion, they 'are leaving us positively' and not as though they 'are being yanked out painfully' - like having a tooth extracted without anaesthetic.

And with this technique you can pick up the 'clock' at any time, and put it down again, and all you do is simply look at each 'finger' randomly until you feel you do not need to do it anymore.  And of course you'll know when that happens, because when you look at the remaining 'clock fingers' that haven't been dealt with, there simply won't be any 'zings' - better known as SUDs - anymore.

Christina Elvin

'Spinners of truths' or out and out 'spin'

'Spinners of truths' have been regarded in the past as story-tellers, passing legends and myths on to the next generation, so that the 'tale' or 'story' will linger on and not fade away. And consequently in time these tales or stories have been regarded as truths.

In my opinion, recently there appears to have been a change in the definition of 'spinning' and that change has been associated with politics and distortion. Certainly from the late 1990s until quite recently if a subject has come up in government circles, it has been accepted that there may be a 'spin' on it, to deflect away the importance, or give a different slant on the subject.

And I wonder how many of us can recall 'spinning' happening in our own lives, where maybe someone 'bent the truth a wee bit' or told it 'from a different perspective' to make it more palatable to others - for good or bad.

However there is, in my opinion, an ugly side also to this 'spinning' - which is when the truth of a situation is being deliberately withheld because someone may lose face IF the truth and the whole truth gets out. So aren't then the spinners who 'know' the truth always on their guard - in case the truth does get out? One wonders whether or not these spinners are hoping that the longer the 'spin' goes on, the gullible 'listeners' will begin to believe this is the truth - a bit like passing the story or tale down from mouth to mouth in days of old.

This 'spinning' may go on but it doesn't mean that we have to accept it and indeed condone it by not questioning it when it happens.

Christina Elvin

Being in the 'right place at the right time' OR Don't ever overlook your skills, talents, experiences and knowledge

Just how many of us have skills and talenst that we have forgotten about?  Many I would think.

Earlier this year, in March, I saw by chance a funding offer for community projects to help women in our local town.  It sounded like a very good idea as it was being funded by Avon UK (yes - the cosmetics people) and our local newspaper and was being called the 'HELLO TOMORROW FUND'.  So I researched it and thought, now what can I do to help women in our community?

Well, seeing as I have been involved in community work and projects - via different organisations - since the mid-1970s, I wondered about offering to teach a group of women carers how to 'manage their stress better'.  So just what could I offer that was different to the norm?

I knew, I could utilise my knowledge and experience in the Meridian & Energy therapies fields and so put together a business plan/case to teach 9 women 3 techniques PLUS communication and presentation skills and help them not only help themselves but help others help themselves too.  In fact they could 'cascade' their knowledge to other women carers.  So I called this project 'Caring-4-Carers'.

So I applied.  And I won an award in May 2007.  Here's the link: http://hellotomorrow.avon.com/uk/web/winners.html

Now I am obviously very pleased to win this award ("chuffed to little mint balls" is a northernism I'd use) - and I wouldn't have won it if I hadn't have had a really good think on what I could offer that others weren't offering.  In other words, what skills, talents, experiences and knowledge did I have that others hadn't OR they weren't using. 

I know about stress management (from personal experience and also in-depth training) - and am regarded as something of an expert on it now; I give professional trainings at practitioner levels for the 3 techniques I will teach these people; I obviously use presentation skills in my trainings PLUS there's communication skills too that I use not only in my trainings but in my consultancy practice too.  And there's the community aspect too - where my involvement in community projects comes into it - PLUS of course the caring element. 

Yet these are skills, talents, experiences and knowledge that anyone could have - but I was the one who was in the 'right place at the right time' for me to put them together.

Now just think - WHAT skills, talents, experiences and knowledge do YOU HAVE that others around you might not have?

AND HOW can you make use of this information you now have?

So if you have now got an idea of WHAT you could do, and HOW you could do it, all you need to do is to find out WHO will fund it by coming to it and WHERE you can do it.  And then you can plan WHEN to do it.  And just as an aside, you might aswell find out WHY you want to do it - and THIS answer uncovers a lot about you I can tell you ...

Christina Elvin

'Don't Say Goodbye'

You know you'd promised you wouldn't make me cry,
You know I hurt, don't make me dry my eyes.
Givve me a kiss, a hug I need,
Just one more time, please.
For you to see me cry is a terrible sight,
Just tell me you love me and hold me tight.
I'll do anything you want to make you proud,
Climb the highest mountain and shout your name aloud.
I love you so much, don't make me cry,
Please, just don't say goodbye.
Don't push me away, I need you near,
To stop this river of tears.
If we must truly say goodbye,
Just one more time, close your eyes.
And give me my final kiss
Because you are the one I will forever miss.

by Shannon Elvin

"My bracelet's heavier than yours!" - is there something that needs resolving in our Inner Child?

When you were small did you ever come across the little girl or boy who said "My dad's cleverer than yours!" or "Our car's bigger than yours!" or even "My house's better than yours!"?  Well you possibly did, I came across a few I remember.  However that was back then.

Imagine my surprise when a couple of years ago this same thing happened with a women in her early 40s.  I had bought a silver bracelet on one of my travels, and I bought it plain and simply because I liked it and the randomly engraved design on it AND the engraving 'spoke' to me.  And what's more, it was comfortable to wear.

Well I was at a meeting, and someone I had literally just met about 10minutes previously saw my bracelet, said how she recognised the engraved design from that particular part of the world.  THEN she showed me her bracelet, which I had actually seen in the silversmith's shop and felt was too plain for me - it had a nice repeat pattern on it and I prefer random patterns, so obviously I didn't buy it.  The engraving just wasn't for me - other than that it was nice.

She proceeded to take it off her wrist, and handed it to me saying "Feel the weight of THAT".  "Pardon?" I said.  "Go on, feel the weight of that".  I couldn't believe it.  A grown woman in her early 40s playing children's "my ball's better than yours" games.  I humoured her and felt the weight  - and muttered something like "Yes, it's heavy isn't it?" and gave it back to her.  What I was actually thinking was "Whoa there lady - have you got a few Inner Child issues to deal with and don't know it!  You need to get someone to help you!". 

A bit of time later when we met again my initial intuition/feelings were justified - as she was then playing the "I am great, I am wonderful" game.  Unfortunately she hadn't recognised her Inner Child needed some friednship and hugging and loving. 

Have you ever met anyone like this?   And if you have, what did you do about it?

And if you haven't met anyone like this YET - think about how you'd deal with it WHEN the time comes.

Christina Elvin

3 stones for remembering

Here's a wonderful little exercise that can be used when we're trying to come to terms with the loss of a loved one.

First is to pick a rough-ish, certainly not smooth stone, from the garden or a path nearby. Make sure it fits easily into your hand. This stone represents the negative things about the person, maybe when they lost their temper at you.

Second, now pick up a smooth rounded stone, maybe one from a beach. This stone represents the everyday things about this person. Maybe the way they always said "have a good day" each time they left you.

Third, now choose a small gemstone, perhaps an amethyst, or a piece of calcite, or a piece of fluorite. Any small piece of gemstone from a crystal or complementary therapies shop would do. This represent the good things you remember about the person, may be the time you went out for a day or went to the zoo and you remembered the day as being special.

When you have collected all three of these stones, hold the rough one (the first one) in your hand, and squeeze it whilst you are thinking about a negative expereince. Now put that stone down and pick up the second stone - the smooth pebble. Hold that in your hand and squeeze it and remember them saying or doing their 'everyday' thing. Put that stomne down. Now pick up the gemstone, hold it in your hand and squeeze it and remember those special good things that happened.

Now I want you to pick ALL THREE STONES up and hold them in one hand, now close your hand and squeeze ALL THREE stones together and think of that person or animal or whatever - for THESE THREE stones are the sum of that person or animal or whatever because we have experienced ALL THREE of these situations or feelings at one time or another. THESE THREE STONES remind us of this.

Christina Elvin

Are your tanks dry? or are you just plain ol' cranky?

Are you hydrated enough?

Do you drink enough water?

Do you find yourself getting cranky about tea-time (late afternoon) and forgetful too? It could simply be that you are plain and simply dehydrated.

Many's the time when we, and especially self-employed people who often work alone, work through for hours on end, without any breaks, and often without even drinking anything.

Then we get forgetful, make mistakes easily and blame ourselves!

And really all we need is a drink of water or some fluid which will hydrate us (and not alcoholic because that dehydrates us even more!!) - and that water (plain old water is best really) will put the water back into our cells again because believe it or not water simply seeps away from our bodies by us having a wee, or sweating, or even just by breathing.  And how often do we realise this?  Not often I'll bet.

The accepted 'norm' for drinking water is 2 litres per day which can look like a whole bathful to drink if we see it all at once, in a large bottle. So just have the 500ml bottles around, 4 small bottles is best, and leave them around your place, to drink from when you are in THAT space. I'd keep one in my office, one in my consulting room (in a carafe of course), one in my bathroom and one in my kitchen.

I have found that having little sips throughout the day from small bottles does not make me feel "Oh I'll never drink all of that!". And then first thing in the morning - I'd clean them out and fill them up again.

Try it - and if it doesn't work for you - you may simply be 'just plain ol' cranky!'

Christina Elvin