Hi-eft

Free Lunch No - Energy Exchange Yes

Hi There

The revelations unearthed recently regarding the 'New of The World' phone hacking and its consequential eruptions appears to have culminated very recently (Sun 17th July) in the resignation of Sir Paul Stephenson, the Met Police Commissioner - due, we are informed, over a FREE stay at Champneys.  Champneys hired Neil Wallace (former NoTH deputy editor) as a PR Consultant - the Met had hired him too as a PR Consultant. Now this brought to mind the phrase 'There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch'.

I remember many years ago - in the late 1990s when I was a volunteer committee member at a health-related voluntary organisation - which was eventually closed down to make way for 'newer organisational changes involving the NHS' - we had to declare anything that we received from 'outside' organisations or agencies as they were seen as 'gifts'.  Even down to Christmas boxes of chocolates.  And we did this by signing an agreement which was called, if memory serves me correctly, an 'Ethics Statement'.  I seem to remember this had to be renewed and signed every year.  And this was in a voluntary organisation.

Now, being in the complementary therapy field I readily recognise and abide by the ruling that everything is an 'exchange of energy'.  And to me this means that there's no such thing as a 'Free Lunch' or 'Free Meal' or anything given 'Freely'.   I 'give' something to someone and not charge money for it in order to receive something back - but not in a selfish way and this is because I believe in this 'exchange of energy' and also I believe in 'for the greater good'.  

So let's peek at what 'exchange of energy' could comprise.  Charging people (clients) money for sessions of therapy can be a big obstacle that many therapists and practitioners have - because they enjoy 'helping others' and using their 'tools in trade' be it EFT, meridian & energy therapies, aromatherapy, reflexology, hypnotherapy, counselling, tarot or whatever - they feel very uncomfortable about charging money for something they enjoy doing - until they understand that this 'charging' is really an 'exchange of energy.'  And that 'exchange' can be done in very many ways.  So 'charging is one way.

Or that 'exchange' could be helping someone move on with their life, recognising that they they may in turn help someone else - helping to set up a 'help' chain;  or it could be that in the distant future the therapist may receive a contact from someone who knew this person; or even just a simple smile at someone and seeing them smile back is payment enough - something as simple as a smile can change our outlook on things; and even 'swapping therapies' is a good 'exchange'.  

Thus to receive a 'FREE' stay at an expensive venue could show naivety to say the least in my opinion.  And I therfore find myself asking the question "Can we expect such naivety from someone in such a highly respected and powerful position?"  Well, he is human after all, and could therefore possibly be classed as naive in some aspects of life - especially if he doesn't know or understand or appreciate this 'exchange of energy'. 

So, in my opinion and experience, recognising that an 'exchange of energy' takes place is all important, very important.

Maybe you understand where others don't ...

All the best

Christina

Tapping in the Blue is true instead of tapping in the Red

Recently I had an 'office move' - and as I'm a SoHo (Small office Home office) entrepreneur I, like many SoHo-ers, have an office in their house, either a study or spare bedroom or conservatory or maybe a comfortably-sized shed outside.  Mine was a small bedroom which very quickly became an overcrowded office for me.  It had been 'my office' for almost 20 years. 

However, family needs necessitated me vacating that spare bedroom - converting it back into a proper bedroom - and thus I needed a move to somewhere else.  The obvious decision was to use our garage - which's attached to our home - and make that into our new 'Office' - indeed it's even now called 'The Office'. 

So, the 'office' move took place over several months, after initially emptying the garage and painting it, and having some building works done to it.  Then I could start emptying bookcases and files and moving them and re-assembling them in place, moving out non-essential 'office'' stuff' to accomodate yet more 'office' stuff.  Moving each item one at a time.  A bit like those puzzles we had as kids where you had 15 pieces of plastic to move around a 16-space shape, only moving one piece at a time to achieve a complete picture'.   You get my drift?

Now even whilst this was happening I could still use my computer - so I was content.  I was moving all the stuff myself - family just helped on the odd occasion with really big and heavy stuff that necessitated 2 people to move it.  So I only had myself to blame if anything broke, was lost, misplaced or damaged, and that's how I preferred it to be.  Control-freak or what?

Anyway, came the time when everything 'office-type' was in place in 'The Office', and now it was time for my computer move.  I closed down 'The Office' for 7 days to allow for any hiccups in moving my computer, server, 2 printers, keyboard and mouse - just in case the gremlins gave us a visit!  Things worked great and at the end of 7 days I was back online.

All was well for about a week, then my computer system started slowing down, hanging, locking-up on me.  I was shutting it down, restarting it several times a day until enough was enough.  My hubby decided to find out what was wrong.  He suspected the ethernet card (connection to the internet - my lifeline) and began looking at it.  After several hours and several false starts he decided he needed help from my son - the computer expert.  I misheard the telephone conversation and caught the words "...  delete the internet ... deleted the computer ..." and I went ballistic!!! 

Suddenly before my eyes flashed all my almost 20years work that I had done, researched, compiled - disappeared, gone, never to return, lost to the ether in the click of a mouse!!  I didn't see any way that it could be saved.  I was devastated.  I was so very very angry at my husband for doing what I believed I heard - "deleting my computer".  Never mind protestations from him that he hadn't deleted my computer or that there were back-ups somewhere, weren't there???

For the rest of that day I was bereft, unconsoleable, wouldn't speak to him, stormed around the house very very angry, couldn't concentrate - in essence in a shock state.  And eventually I very slowly came round - when I was told it could be sorted out.  My hubby started transferring 'my computer' stuff onto his computer - which is also in 'The Office', so at least I had some contact wiht the outside world - via emails and the internet.

The following day I felt sooo down, so very grey and exhausted and energyless - similar to a mini-depressed feeling - it was so very draining.  I wandered about the house looking for things to do to stop myself thinking about the 'disaster' the day before - not realising what was happening to me emotionally.  I simply couldn't settle to doing anything, there was nothing I wanted to do or that I could do to help myself - or so it seemed.

And then something clicked in my mind - what was happening to me was that I was going through a very brief version of the stages of bereavement - and I KNEW what I could do about that, didn't I? 

Of course, I could tap on those feelings - so I tapped (more like thumped) like crazy for about 5 minutes using the Anxiety Stopper points - Under Eye. CollarBone and Under Arm points - whilst going over in my mind what had happened the day before, my reactions, my feelings, my words, re-running the movie all the time and telling myself at the same time to "let it go, let it go".  And yes it is possible to imagine and talk and tap all at the same.

And then things came back into perspective. 

What my husband said just might have been true, maybe what I heard was NOT what he said, could my reactions have been a wee bit over-the-top?  You bet they were!

And know what?  I found I could settle to doing things after that.  My mind was more settled.  I felt better in myself.

However what I find really interesting is that I simply did NOT recognise what 'emotional state' I was in at that time when I was very very angry.  But once I got past that intensely-tight-red-blocking anger state and moved into what I feel is a loosely-blue-meshy state, my cognitions moved back on track enabling me to recognise what had happened logically and what was happening emotionally. 

I understood that intense emotions can and do block our higher functioning processes, but this was a big-wow-realisation for me, experiencing it as it happened.  So certainly for me, tapping in the blue is true instead of tapping in the red.

Hozho

Christina

So what is a WAW, a WAM and a WORM?

Something interesting happened a few days ago - and I feel I have coined a new and yet quite non-emotional was of dealing with ex-partners. 

Over the years I have seen clients, and supported friends who've been through this awful modern day affliction - the 'non-lasting' relationship, the "what-was-meant-to-be-for-life-but-now-isn't-anymore" relationship, the "I'm ready for a new challenge so I'm leaving" relationship.  And I have also supported friends whose 'grown-up children' have also gone through these relationships.

So what happened?  Well I have found that clients and friends find it difficult to discuss what has happened or how they are feeling because of the emotional aspects that belongs to their ex-spouse's or ex-partner's or ex-son-in-law's or ex-daughter-in-law's name.  They often refer to these 'ex'es by their name or simply as "the ex".  Which then rakes up lots of negative aspects as they feel 'disloyal' or 'angry' to what they had but is no longer - which I know is all part of the grieving process.

Now the situations that have occurred whilst we do not need to go into them seem to me from my experience, to fall into two categories:

(1) Walk Away Women or Walk Away Men  are simply that, they walk away from the relationship and leave their ex, kids, family, pets, friends, debts, house in fact everything behind - maybe they have a genuine reason for this action, but I am only concerned here about the person sitting in front of me - the one who's left behind; and then there's the second;

(2) Won't Own Responsibility Man is something that I have found (from my experience of almost 20years in this therapy business) that it's mainly men here who leave the relationship after "things get too problematic for them to face" and the contributing factors here can often be "having children" or 'having a mortgage" or "having to settle down".  Now it is extremely possible that they too may feel they have a genuine reason to leave that relationship, but what happens is that they are still in the background, they are still around maybe for 'looking after the kids on occasion' or 'looking after the family pet on occasion' - it's as though they are ok as long as they do not have to own any responsibility for anything, they simply cannot cope with responsibility - which as we know is actually 'their problem' but if they don't want to deal with it then that is their choice. 

And funnily enough, looking back on past clients histories, these 2 categories seem to dominate the reasons for clients coming to see me, or at least these two appear to be the patterns which unfold.  Now it could simply be that the area I live and work in 'grows' these two categories more than any other, a bit like certain soil being more beneficial for growing certain vegatables than other types of soil - this is me being flippant by the way.

So, what has happened is that when taking notes I have found myself using acronyms for the category these 'ex'es fall into.

1. WAW stands for "Walk Away Woman"
2. WAM stands for "Walk Away Man"
3. WORM stands for "Won't Own Responsibility Man".

PLUS a beneficial side-effect that happened, when the client was talking about Dave or John or Aiden or Katey or Tracey or even simply 'the ex', they became very emotional, which was to be expected.  So I suggested they call them a substitute name such as WAW or WAM or WORM - and that change of word took away a lot of the emotion as they were talking about them, enabling them to talk more easily and freely.  And over time, they started feeling not as negative and doomy-gloomy about what had happened, which seemed to help them talk more and thereby get through the emotional aspects quicker.

And of course they did, without knowing or understanding what was happening,  is I feel go through a process that is often referred to as "cutting the emotional ties" simply be reframing what they called their 'ex'-es.  And to each individual there is only one WAW or WAM or WORM in their life. 

These terms having been explained to the clients, were thought as appropriate and even comical and it didn't drag up all that emotional baggage that surrounds a name.

And it works with parents and parents-in-law too - after all they are often left to support their 'grown up children' on all levels (emotional, financial, psychological and phsyical too) and they too go through a grieving process for their children, for their grand-children, for their own futures, for their own plans.

So if you have negative thoughts about your ex, or have friends who have negative thoughts about their 'ex'-es, suggest it to them - after finding out which category their 'ex'-es fit into of course.

 

Keep happy, keep healthy and keep smilin'

Christina

Knowing when to call in the Animal Communications expert

Hi folks

I thought this might be interesting to those of you who have animals or help people and their animals. Our family has had dogs and cats living with us for the last 30years, and for the last almost 20 years nowI have always said that "our animals are soooo chilled out because of the work I do from home" - I'm a psychotherapist, energy psychologist, coach and trainer and see clients in my home.

For almost 12months now we have had our son and grandson lodging with us plus their family pets - 2 dogs (both rescues) and 3 cats. Not a lot but seeing as we have 1 dog and 2 cats ourselves, feeding time is interesting being ankle deep in cats and knee deep in dogs :-))).   Now one of my son's dogs ( a big dalmatian called Jack) has a 'barking at door bell callers' problem, even when I am in the house and he just keeps on barking even after I answer the door. So in the past I have been telling him off/chiding him really about it and TATing and EFTing on him aswell - all to no avail.

So I enlisted the help of a superb animal communicator called Annie at www.animalstalk2me.co.uk  as I was presuming (correctly as it turned out) that I was 'in the way' being so close. Now over the years I have helped other people's animals myself but not used it directly on my own becuase I had never had need to - although I have used homeopathy with our own dog Brandy who was having a stressful and anxious period a couple of years ago - the time when my son & his ex split up and also the same time when our own 2nd dog passed away suddenly.

Well, some interesting stuff came up from Annie's 'distant communications' with Jack, namely that he missed his 'mum' - ie my son's ex-partner - a long and not uncommon story I am sure nowadays. So I 'talked to Jack' about why his mum left and why he was 'lodging' with us, and Annie also did some distance TAT and EFT work on him and that was over a month ago, and he's been so chilled out since it's marvellous.

I hadn't realised, until having Jack come live with us, that I could be getting 'in the way' of our animal communications when I do not 'get in the way' when working with my family - really surprised me that did. So in future if I need any help with our now 7 animals (Benjy our son's other dog - a 20+yr old Shaitsu passed away earlier this week) I shall be contacting Annie again. Certainly a lesson for me of when to call in the 'experts'.

All the best from 'a chilled out again' animal-house

Christina